| The Beginning... |
| A Journal of Ranch Happenings (from a dog's point of view) |
| by Officer Boo Diddley, Head of Security |
| As well as some silly nonsense from my assistants, |
| Little Miss Annie Oakley (AKA - 'Oakie") and Little Bear (AKA - 'da Rookie') and our newest addition... Katy (pupus extremus) |
| Entry: Boo Diddley, Head of Security |
Let me start by saying this....they might be my assistants, but I didn't hire 'em....Nope,
didn't do it, so don't blame me. All I do is take 'em, beat 'em into a lean, mean, fighting
machines....THEN and ONLY THEN are they allowed to be a part of MY Ranch Security
Team.
didn't do it, so don't blame me. All I do is take 'em, beat 'em into a lean, mean, fighting
machines....THEN and ONLY THEN are they allowed to be a part of MY Ranch Security
Team.
| Entry: Little Bear, Big Boy of Ranch Security |
Well, it seems that our Head of Security has taken the weekend off, leaving me in charge. Yep. she
FINALLY trusts me enough to let me take the weekend shift on my own....Hold on a minute, gotta
stranger coming up....have to run up to the gate and find out what business he's got 'round here.
FINALLY trusts me enough to let me take the weekend shift on my own....Hold on a minute, gotta
stranger coming up....have to run up to the gate and find out what business he's got 'round here.
| ::RUNS BARKING TO GATE:: "HALT...WHO ARE YOU? STATE YOUR BUSINESS!" |
| ::PROPERLY EXECUTES THE 'GO AHEAD PUNK, MAKE MY DAY' GLARE:: |
Name's Boo Diddley, Head of
Security here at the ranch. Yeah, that's me
there on the left, standing guard as usual. You
may not believe it, but I'm alot tougher than I
look. Sixty-five pounds of teeth and muscle, I'm
fast enough to catch the end of a whip while still
in full swing. Tough enough to grab a horse or
cow by the nose and clamp down, not letting
go until the master says to release my grip.
Security here at the ranch. Yeah, that's me
there on the left, standing guard as usual. You
may not believe it, but I'm alot tougher than I
look. Sixty-five pounds of teeth and muscle, I'm
fast enough to catch the end of a whip while still
in full swing. Tough enough to grab a horse or
cow by the nose and clamp down, not letting
go until the master says to release my grip.
I think that the worst part about my
job is making sure that those who call
themselves 'Ranch Security' are more or less
as tough as I am....and sometimes that's
harder than it looks....Take a look at the one
over on the right for instance. That's 'Little
Miss Annie Oakley'. Cute little girl with a
cutesy name. Took me forever to whip her
into shape. Once I got her attention though,
she's made a pretty darn good security
guard....course it took me years to get that
whimp into shape.
job is making sure that those who call
themselves 'Ranch Security' are more or less
as tough as I am....and sometimes that's
harder than it looks....Take a look at the one
over on the right for instance. That's 'Little
Miss Annie Oakley'. Cute little girl with a
cutesy name. Took me forever to whip her
into shape. Once I got her attention though,
she's made a pretty darn good security
guard....course it took me years to get that
whimp into shape.
I've included a couple of shots that were taken during one of our classes. They show the
intensity of the training that our trainees must endure, which include attack training, guard duty
training, and intense training to learn the 'GO AHEAD, MAKE MY DAY PUNK' glare...not to
mention the classes teaching how to properly beg for scraps, without really begging..
intensity of the training that our trainees must endure, which include attack training, guard duty
training, and intense training to learn the 'GO AHEAD, MAKE MY DAY PUNK' glare...not to
mention the classes teaching how to properly beg for scraps, without really begging..
Then there’s that ‘Little Bear’
pup. Thought he'd walk right in and try to
be one of MY security personnel. Well, I
started him on extreme Security Team
Training right off the bat. He’ll come along
soon enough…it’ll just take time…that is if
the training doesn’t kill him first…..
pup. Thought he'd walk right in and try to
be one of MY security personnel. Well, I
started him on extreme Security Team
Training right off the bat. He’ll come along
soon enough…it’ll just take time…that is if
the training doesn’t kill him first…..
No answer....
::DRIVER LEAVES PACKAGE AT GATE AND QUICKLY RETREATS::
K....I'm back. Now where was I? Oh
yeah.... So anyways, Boo has decided to take this
weekend off. So, being the great security guard that I
am, I've watched everything around here...and I do
mean EVERYTHING. See, it's like Boo said,
NOTHING gets past us here at the ranch.
yeah.... So anyways, Boo has decided to take this
weekend off. So, being the great security guard that I
am, I've watched everything around here...and I do
mean EVERYTHING. See, it's like Boo said,
NOTHING gets past us here at the ranch.
Anyway, I finished my rounds awhile ago
and was feeling quite full of myself. A little later I came
into the livingroom, only to find this....
::POINTS TO THE RIGHT::
At first I thought that the couch was eating
Boo...or maybe she was checking out something
suspicious that she'd seen scamper under the couch.
But as I got closer I heard her snoring, so I guess she
just wanted some privacy.
and was feeling quite full of myself. A little later I came
into the livingroom, only to find this....
::POINTS TO THE RIGHT::
At first I thought that the couch was eating
Boo...or maybe she was checking out something
suspicious that she'd seen scamper under the couch.
But as I got closer I heard her snoring, so I guess she
just wanted some privacy.
| Entry: Boo Diddley, Head of Security |
Been having a bit a of a problem as of late....seems that the team's been confronted
with all kinds of technical problems whenever they try to make an entry into the Security
Journal. Well, if you wanta get right down to it, we just can't get the darn computer to turn
on...let alone work the darn buttons! So, in all fairness to those of us who are technologically
impaired (not to mention color blind) the Boss Lady, (Susan to those of you who know her) is
gonna help me make this into a journal, portraying the life and adventures of the Security Team.
What does all this B.S. mean? Well, you'll get the same sassiness.....just a little less
talk and typing on my end...and more pictures for you to enjoy. Don't know about you, but it
sounds great to me! Not only do I NOT have to listen to my crew gripe about their computer
ignorance, I got the boss to agree to keep up the website for me! If that isn't a win-win situation,
I don't know what is....
with all kinds of technical problems whenever they try to make an entry into the Security
Journal. Well, if you wanta get right down to it, we just can't get the darn computer to turn
on...let alone work the darn buttons! So, in all fairness to those of us who are technologically
impaired (not to mention color blind) the Boss Lady, (Susan to those of you who know her) is
gonna help me make this into a journal, portraying the life and adventures of the Security Team.
What does all this B.S. mean? Well, you'll get the same sassiness.....just a little less
talk and typing on my end...and more pictures for you to enjoy. Don't know about you, but it
sounds great to me! Not only do I NOT have to listen to my crew gripe about their computer
ignorance, I got the boss to agree to keep up the website for me! If that isn't a win-win situation,
I don't know what is....
Date: May, 2009
I'm gonna get outta here...got rounds to
make. I'll leave the rest open so that each of my
assistants can write things if they can think of
something to say....or maybe somebody can type it
for 'em. Ya know, that thing of not having opposable
thumbs can be SUCH a problem at times!
make. I'll leave the rest open so that each of my
assistants can write things if they can think of
something to say....or maybe somebody can type it
for 'em. Ya know, that thing of not having opposable
thumbs can be SUCH a problem at times!
If I was you I wouldn't mention that you saw this pic....she seems to get a little testy
when it comes to her personal time. And goodness knows we DON'T want to get that woman
pissed at us! Has something to do with the 'tough maucho' image that she's had all these years.
Anyway....nuff said. Got rounds to make and things to sniff before I report back to the
Boss this afternoon....
when it comes to her personal time. And goodness knows we DON'T want to get that woman
pissed at us! Has something to do with the 'tough maucho' image that she's had all these years.
Anyway....nuff said. Got rounds to make and things to sniff before I report back to the
Boss this afternoon....